i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
