I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
