Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Sext me about skeletons
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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