Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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