North Korea, Best Korea!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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