you mean i was at the winter classic?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
