I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
