awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
