Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
