I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
