So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I believe in your delicious
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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