***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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