So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
