So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
