we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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