I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
