I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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