He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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