Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
