She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
