three words: i give head
three words: not that well
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
