Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
