bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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