Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
