Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
