Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
