Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
