I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
