i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
