Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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