Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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