we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
