screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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