I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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