the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my sisters under your porch take her home
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
