you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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