Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
