I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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