we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
