Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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