Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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