I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
