when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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