Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
