i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
