Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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