who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
