I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
