Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
