That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
