I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
