Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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