its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
